Thursday, July 1, 2010

Some contestants' answers from TV quiz shows...

UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE (BBC2)       
Jeremy Paxman: What is another name for 'cherrypickers' and cheesemongers'?          
Contestant: Homosexuals..               
Jeremy Paxman: No. They're regiments in the British Army who will be very upset with you
             
BEG, BORROW OR STEAL (BBC2)      
Jamie Theakston: Where do you think Cambridge University is?               
Contestant: Geography isn't my strong point.           
Jamie Theakston: There's a clue in the title.           
Contestant: Leicester
             
BBC NORFOLK             
Stewart White: Who had a worldwide hit with What A Wonderful World?           
Contestant: I don't know.      
Stewart White: I'll give you some clues: what do you call the part between your hand and your elbow?            
Contestant: Arm        
Stewart White: Correct. And if you're not weak, you're...?         
Contestant: Strong.               
Stewart White: Correct - and what was Lord Mountbatten's first name?            
Contestant: Louis      
Stewart White: Well, there we are then. So who had a worldwide hit with the song What A Wonderful World?               
Contestant: Frank Sinatra 
             
LATE SHOW (BBC MIDLANDS)
Alex Trelinski: What is the capital of Italy ?
Contestant: France .
Trelinski: France is another country. Try again.
Contestant: Oh, um, Benidorm.
Trelinski: Wrong, sorry, let's try another question. In which country is the Parthenon?
Contestant: Sorry, I don't know.
Trelinski: Just guess a country then.
Contestant: Paris                                                                        

THE WEAKEST LINK (BBC2)
Anne Robinson:  Oscar Wilde, Adolf Hitler and Jeffrey Archer have all written books about their experiences in what: - Prison, or the Conservative Party?
Contestant: The Conservative Party..

BEACON RADIO ( WOLVERHAMPTON)
DJ Mark: For 10, what is the nationality of the Pope?
Ruth from Rowley Regis: I think I know that one. Is it Jewish?

UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE
Bamber Gascoyne: What was Gandhi's first name?
Contestant: Goosey?

GWR FM ( Bristol )
Presenter: What happened in Dallas on November 22, 1963?
Contestant: I don't know, I wasn't watching it then..

PHIL WOOD SHOW (BBC RADIO? MANCHESTER)
Phil: What's 11 squared?
Contestant: I don't know.
Phil: I'll give you a clue. It's two ones with a two in the middle.
Contestant: Is it five?


RICHARD AND JUDY
Richard: Which American actor is married to Nicole Kidman?
Contestant: Forrest Gump.

RICHARD AND JUDY
Richard: On which street did Sherlock Holmes live?
Contestant: Er.......
Richard: He makes bread .....
Contestant: Er .........
Richard: He makes cakes......
Contestant: Kipling Street ?

LINCS FM PHONE-IN
Presenter: Which is the largest Spanish-speaking country in the world?
Contestant: Barcelona .
Presenter: I was really after the name of a country.
Contestant: I'm sorry, I don't know the names of any countries in Spain ...

NATIONAL LOTTERY (BBC1)               
Question: What is the world's largest continent?   
Contestant: The Pacific..       

ROCK FM (PRESTON)            
Presenter: Name a film starring Bob Hoskins that is also the name of a famous painting by Leonardo da Vinci.      
Contestant: Who Framed Roger Rabbit? 
    
THE BIGGEST GAME IN TOWN (ITV)
Steve Le Fevre: What was signed, to bring World War I to an end in 1918?
Contestant: Magna Carta?                                                             

JAMES O'BRIEN SHOW (LBC)
James O'Brien: How many kings of England have been called Henry?
Contestant: Er, well, I know there was a Henry the Eighth ... ER. ER ... Three?

CHRIS SEARLE SHOW (BBC RADIO BRISTOL)
Chris Searle: In which European country is Mount Etna ?
Caller: Japan .
Chris Searle: I did say which European country, so in case you didn't hear that, I can let you try again.
Caller: Er ............ Mexico ?

PAUL WAPPAT (BBC RADIO NEWCASTLE)  
Paul Wappat: How long did the Six-Day War between Egypt and Israel last?
Contestant (long pause): Fourteen days.

DARYL DENHAM'S DRIVETIME (VIRGIN RADIO)
Daryl Denham: In which country would you spend shekels?
Contestant:      Holland ?
Daryl Denham: Try the next letter of the alphabet..
Contestant: Iceland ? Ireland ?
Daryl Denham: (helpfully) It's a bad line.. Did you say Israel ?
Contestant: No.

PHIL WOOD SHOW (BBC GMR)
Phil Wood: What 'K' could be described as the Islamic Bible?
Contestant: Er... ..... ...
Phil Wood: It's got two syllables . . . Kor ..
Contestant: Blimey?
Phil Wood: Ha ha ha ha, no. The past participle of run . ...
Contestant: (Silence)
Phil Wood: OK, try it another way. Today I run, yesterday I . . ...
Contestant: Walked?

THE VAULT
Melanie Sykes: What is the name given to the condition where the sufferer can fall asleep at any time?
Contestant: Nostalgia..

LUNCHTIME SHOW (BRMB)
Presenter: What religion was Guy Fawkes?
Contestant: Jewish.
Presenter: That's close enough.

STEVE WRIGHT IN THE AFTERNOON (BBC RADIO 2)
Wright: Johnny Weissmuller died on this day.. Which jungle-swinging character clad only in a loin cloth did he play?
Contestant: Jesus.

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I reckon geography, history and RE teachers have a lot to answer for!